Part of me feels like a failure but I honestly don't feel I can go back to the conditions of patient care at this SNF. I don't mind the physical work and I adore the patients, but the unsafe nursing practice has me not wanting to go back. I thought I could handle it but last night had me angry and in tears because these patients deserve better care than they're getting and this is not the kind of nursing I want to practice. Constantly giving patients other patient's insulin because their own either hasn't been delivered by the pharmacy service or hasn't been ordered. No access to supplies on evenings because they have had a problem with theft, so no one is allowed to have the supply room code. It's maddening. Watching the current nurses throw asepsis out the window, and doing things like tossing sterile gloves to the side when suctioning a trach and just using clean gloves makes me cringe. I know others from my class that are working at SNF's and one who works at my facility even told me yesterday this is already so dangerous she might quit, after a meeting with management telling us they will have to cut a nurse from the floor if the overtime doesn't stop. It is humanly impossible to "adequately and safely" care for 20-25 patients in 8 hrs without staying an extra 1.5-2 hrs to complete charting and without cutting corners and last night I came to the realization I'm not willing to practice that kind of nursing and put them and my license in jeopardy. I hate this feeling I feel like I'm being selfish and abandoning them. I feel like a failure since I know others are doing it, but I can't in all good consciousness continue to be a nurse like this. I know there is a big difference between real nursing and nursing school, but this is a far cry from safe nursing practice. I worked so hard to get this license and and waited for years to pursue my career dreams. I have loved working and caring for these patients and the thought of going back to sitting around the house and doing laundry again applying for positions is horribly depressing, but I feel I simply must give my notice tomorrow. I know the DON will ask why I'm leaving and probably presume I don't want to work hard which couldn't be farther for the truth. I'm a very honest and contentious person so without trashing her facility I'm not sure how to tell the truth. She's only been there 3 months herself. Now I see why they have such a high turnover in nurses.
Feeling so down and lost